i bleed coffee

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Note: Written June 17, 2014. Original work, albeit a little Hannibal-inspired

Heartbeat fades
And darkness surrounds
But a fire burns within

A flame to keep you warm
A flicker of hope to shield you from despair
A lighthouse to guide you to shore

Letting go comes easily now
Surely a brightness such as yours
Could never really fade out

Will you fade out?
Will I fade with you?

Something holds you
A collision, a spark
And all is silent again
It is finished

Open your eyes, love.

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Note: Written May 22, 2014

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A few words, and then nothing.
Silence me with your kiss;
I end upon this.

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I will break you down to build you up
Fortify yourself, my love
Bury your heavy heart in the sand
And turning to the waves, be swept away by the tide
Evening approaches
Sun sets behind you
Gold thread in your curls
Your skull, illuminated
Are you lit from within?
Are you a candle, waiting to be snuffed out?
Are you the ocean, the hungry sea
The water that sighs?
I wonder if you are a lighthouse
Leading me to shelter
And you know you could sing to me
Your voice pulling me close
I think I might follow
Yes, you've wrecked me
I have lost something
Or I have gained something
Clarity comes with acceptance
Acceptance precedes understanding
I can say with certainty
That you are so alive, I can scarcely believe
Heaven grows dim, light fades into night
No doubt in my mind
I have faith in the morning
I pray to the sun
You are quick to rise
Fire in your belly
Tempest on your mind
In the water, all is one
I am standing right beside you
Beautiful boy
Darling boy
I have looked at you
And you have seen me
Take me to the river
Lead me to the edge
Do you think I will drink?
There is mercury in your veins, I know
And I have a taste for madness
You move against the flow
Settling only to take root in a garden of glass
Your blood in the stream
A name on your lips
She is carried by the current
You above
She below
Neither breaking the water's surface
I believe this is the meaning of separation
I can say I know a few things I didn't know before
And I have some idea of where the river runs
So much has changed in the space we occupy
I can see more than me when I look at your eyes
Though I cannot claim to see you
I could never comprehend an open heart without a knife
But if forced to choose between mind or meat
I think the quiet little mysteries hidden beneath that face that I like so well
Might sustain me through the longest winter
Or am I confusing want with need?
More questions to come
Surely a hazy conclusion
Isn't the worst that could happen?
Let us tear down the forts we've fought so hard to defend
And meet each other on the battlefield, heads held high
No resistance
War is over
Dear one, let us favor reality over fiction
Come, tell me something
Now the lure is cast
Do you really think I can resist?

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The tiny grey fishes nibble on his toes,
mistaking them for juicy, wriggling worms.
An honest mistake...

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Note: Written April 24, 2014 - the day before "Shiizakana". Title taken from "Låt den Rätte Komma In" (2008).

up all night again. i keep stepping out onto my porch to see how this morning's sunrise is progressing. there's a smoky mist rushing past clouds with edges so clear and distinct they look as though they've been carved with a scalpel. the sun is a muted red like a not-too-hot coal and providing the backdrop to this scene are bright clouds painted in broad strokes, butter on powder blue.

that's all i care to say at the moment, as the more i type, the colder my coffee gets.